Author: by an ex-initiate Publisher: The NEURAL SURFER Publication date: July 1997
E-mail David Christopher Lane directly at dlane@weber.ucsd.edu
I want to go back to the home base now.
Hi David- If you would like to post this, please do so anonymously. I am working on a book of stories. Looking forward to knowing you better. When I met Thakar, I had already had the opportunity to live with someone who was Kirpal Singh's first western disciple. Although I was not initiated in this path, I was allowed to meditate with her each night and found the experience profound - even overwhelming at times. When I later was travelling in California, I happened upon an initiation with Thakar which I signed up for. Already knowing the basics about this initiation, I was stunned to see this man prime everybody for an experience instead of supporting them with having their own personal, unique experience. He would go on and on saying that if you went to this depth you would see this, or that or this or that. By the time he was done, I was "exhausted" from having tried to keep his concepts about what people should see when they meditate out of my consciousness. At the end of the first round, he went around the room asking everyone what they had seen. I was the only person who had seen nothing. He looked shocked, took me into the other room and "put me into meditation" again. I was later asked to return to the room and he asked again what I had seen. I said that I had seen nothing. He looked a little stern and then told me to keep at it and eventually it would open up inside. In the second round he proceeded to tell everyone what they would hear when they went inside themselves. Locomotive sound, crickets, birds, a bell etc etc. Once again I was dismayed by the hideous level of pre-sell. It was as if you were not "in" unless you saw and heard what he told you. As we went into meditation this time, I was pretty irked and found myself in an increasingly mischievous mood. This is not usual for me in the presence of a genuine saint but I had a sense that I was going to lose it with this guy. At one point, I took my fingers out of my ears which I had been instructed not to do until the end and noticed that I heard a peculiar repetitive sound in the room. Very carefully I looked up towards Thakar and I could not believe what I was witnessing... At the end of this round, he went around the room again asking everyone what they had heard. When he got to me, he had a peculiar look of what looked like rather extreme attachment on his face. He asked me if I had heard anything during my meditation... I answered "yes" which seemed to cause his whole face to relax. He then asked me what it was that I had heard... I told him that around the middle of my meditation I was certian that I was hearing the sound of crickets chirping... Ahhhh, he said looking very approvingly at me... "However, as I listened more carefully, I could tell that it was not actually crickets at all..." "Yes?" he said - "what was it?" "Well, as I listened very carefully I realized that the sound I was hearing was the sound of someone very close by clipping his nails!" Thakar proceeded to turn purple and very, very quietly let me know that this was not my path and it was a good idea that I leave now which I did happily. When people are truly dedicated to the Divine... there is no difference between action and prayer. Mother Meera
E-mail The Neural Surfer directly at dlane@weber.ucsd.edu
I want to go back to the home base now.