Scum Gurus

Author: David Christopher Lane
Publisher: The Neural Surfer
Publication date: May 1997

E-mail David Christopher Lane directly at

I want to go back to the home base now.


Or, Gurus You Would NOT Bring Home to Mother

February 1996 List

  • 1. Thakar Singh (If you think blindfolding children under the age of five for years is spiritual; if you think beating up American women is conducive for meditation; if you think initiating anybody is enlightened; if you think sexually molesting female disciples is helpful to burn off karma.... then Thakar is the guru for you. Personally, I would take ten Twitchell's and five L. Ron Hubbard's instead of this charlatan.

  • 2. Ching Hai (Initiated by Thakar Singh in the early 1980's but continually denies any connection. Instead she claims that some Himalayan guru, who only had one disciple (her), initiated her into the secrets of surat shabd yoga. When asked where this guru lived, Ching Hai hassles the questioner. Just take a look at her diary forms for initiates and the diary forms that Thakar Singh uses.... She is doing a Twitchellian Pose for the 1990s.)

  • 3. John-Roger Hinkins (Yea, I know, he robbed my house, but I would rather be stuck with J.R. than Thakar.... John-Roger Hinkins has also been known infamously as the "Divine Rump Ranger" [You want to achieve God consciousness? You need a rectal reem rod session with the Mystical Traveler.] Check out McWilliams book, LIFE 102--the best anti-cult book written in the last decade.)

  • 4. Adi Da (Oops, or was that Da Avabhasa, Da Free John, Love-Ananda, Franklin Jones, or Just the Most Spoiled Guru to Come out of New York? Great writer, no doubt, but hey lose some pounds big guy or that island in Fiji is going to sink. Moreover, when did wife abuse become a form of puja?)

  • 5. Fredrick Lenz (Rama? Just read your book, Surfing the Himalayans, and didn't realize that snowboarding could freeze so many neurons at once. Amazingly lame text makes one yearn for Rod McKuen poetry.... But who cares about writing, just take a few drops of L.S.D. and hit on emotionally vulnerable women and say that having sex with Rama is like connecting with God.... And to think that this guy got a Ph.D. in English from SUNY?)

    E-mail The Neural Surfer directly at

    I want to go back to the home base now.