E-mail David Christopher Lane
directly at dlane@weber.ucsd.edu
Author: David Christopher Lane Publisher: Alt.religion.eckankar Publication date: 1996
E-mail David Christopher Lane
directly at dlane@weber.ucsd.edu
I
want to go back to the home base now.
Paul Twitchell on "complaints" "1. Complaints of any kind make more karma for the complainant. [sic]" "2. Take any attitude or feeling of complaint to the inner planes." "3. Complaints are NEVER to be taken to the Master or to Las Vegas, but are to be handled through the Mahdis of your own area but remember KARMA!" and my favorite: "6. Ask the chelas to write out their complaints once a month or so, then either put it aside for a week and reread it, or mail it to THEMSELVES...." (Direct quotes from SUPPLEMENTS TO THE BOOK OF SPIRITUAL INSTRUCTIONS FOR ECK-SATSANG CLASSES by Paul Twitchell, pages 66-67) -------- Just a thought: I would love to see McDonalds use this same type of complaint list.... Imagine the possiblities: Complaint: "Hey, this coke sucks. No carbonation, dirty cup, and it tastes like root beer. Is this Jack in the Box or what? If I want Junk in the Box, I would have gone there. This is McDonalds, home of the greatest coke going. What gives?" Twitchellian trained McDonalds' Employee: "Sorry pal, but your complaining is merely increasing your karmic load and from the looks of it, you are going to have to reincarnate a couple of more lives if you persist in saying our cokes suck." Complaint: "Yo, Ronald Head, i just want a better coke. You dig? It's hot and this coke is lame; it has no punch. I want the carbonation to burn baby...." Twitchellian trained McDonalds' Employee: "Dear Friend, please take your complaint to the inner planes. Ask Fubbi why your coke is no good. Or better yet, soul travel to Venus, where I hear they have some nectar bottle cokes. But keep one thing is mind, the DWARF race from MARS are not very smart, so their cokes are not as good as the MAJESTIC Beings bottling plants. In any case, chant Hu when in doubt about carbonation." Complaint: "Geez, can't get a straight answer.... I feel like I am in an MSIA hamburger joint. Who hired you anyways? J.R. I am going to have to take this up with your head-honcho in Vegas at the MGM Grand." Twitchellian trained McDonalds' Employee: "No, you are never to take a complaint to Las Vegas. IT'S FORBIDDEN. Remember, your complaining simply reflects your own lack of higher taste. I HAVE SPOKEN! And about those lace panties..... they don't come with the combo meal. By the way, I talked to God about the coke's carbonation and he said you have a small penis.... So there." Complaint: "Do you have any other suggestions, besides the obvious: get me a new coke?" Twitchellian trained McDonalds' Employee: "Yes, take your coke home, put it in a package, and then mail it to yourself. Open it up and drink it. If it is still not carbonated, then soul travel to the nearest Golden Arches near you.... I hear there is one in Allahabad, India, run by some guy named Sudar Singh. One problem, though, nobody knows the address and the guy never shows up. Good luck." ------------- written when the surf was down, so if you have any complaints about what I wrote, don't say anything to me about it, since it is your karmic load. Take any complaints you have of this post within...... signed: yearning right now for a coke
